And the fabrication begins...

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all doing well! I have been talking more and more to Ella about her "Mommy" and interestingly her "Daddy" a word she has learned at school and now wants to associate it to her foster family but cannot make the link. When I ask her to talk about this "Daddy" she can't. When she talks about her "house" in China she will hardly ever mention any individuals by name, but told me today that her BaBa gave her a sucker. Ella also informed me the other day that her "Mommy" is in China and I am not her! Ah, the love! :) We continue to work on our attachment, and again, I am so thankful that she had people that she loved during her time at the orphanage. I am also happy to be able to learn a few things about her foster parents so that I will be able to tell Ella about them when she is older. It sure is funny some of the things she comes up with about her time there. She told me today that she did not have a dog at her house in China like Harley but had a red and green cat but they "flew away" and so they are not there anymore. I told her "I have never heard of such a thing" and she solemnly nodded her head and smiled. I also learned tonight that her "Mommy" had black hair like her and that I have "white" hair. Now, I realize it has been a long time since I have had my roots done, but "white"!! I asked her if she meant brown or yellow and she said no, white. Ok, going to get the roots colored asap! I also learned today that her bathroom in China was so much bigger then her bathroom here and that five people would brush their teeth all together. When I asked her if they were her foster brothers and sisters she said "No" they were "just two boys and three girls and the boys got to go first". I am beginning to understand my daughter's need to be first at everything and I do mean everything! I think one of the funniest things Ella says now is "I wanna try it" when there is some new food or drink and the way she says it has me laughing out loud every time. Unfortunately, we have had very few positive reactions to new foods but she continues to try which is great. Today Ella met my good friend Tina and her daughter Madeline at McDonalds playland and we took our neighbor Paige again for an outing. The girls had a great time so much so that my little one was way over tired tonight and it was the first night it was a bear to get her to go to sleep! Thankfully, Harley tried to jump on the bed to see what the heck she was wailing about and this pretty much snapped her out of the wailing long enough to fall asleep. Thank you Harley!! The two of them are doing much better, and earlier tonight when I dropped a carton of eggs on the floor, Ella came over to pull Harley away by the collar and Harley listened and followed her. Pretty amazing considering Harley weighs 2x as much as little miss Ella. I couldn't be any happier for both of them as they are finally finding their place with each other. Posting some pics of Ella with her neighbor friends....

Long Weeks...

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all doing well! I cannot believe it has been over a week since I have posted but it just confirms how insanely busy the past couple of weeks have been. Over the week-end I took Ella and Paige back to the Zoo and this time another six year old neighbor came as well. Could have been me and the exhaustion from a busy work week but man, that third child made the entire day feel like an eternity. I also think that since Paige and Ella have played together so much they have a nice groove going and the third wheel certainly applied to the extra friend. Needless to say, we will be keeping our outings to two from now on. Hats off to all my Mom friends with more than two kiddos at home! Ella seems to be settling in and I am finding rather alarming the fact that she is losing her Mandarin so quickly. We utilize the translator each day, but she says "I don't know" more and more often when I ask her how to say something in Mandarin. I had her listen to some childhood songs in Mandarin today, and she struggled with many of the verses as she sang. I would love to get her into our local Chinese cultural center but when I pull up the pictures and talk about going to visit and play, she becomes nervous and says "no go". I realize part of this is her fear of perhaps having to go back to China but I worry that if I do not push the matter with her, she will lose her Mandarin completely! Ella is doing really well at school and still says "Yeah School" each day. What a joy to know she is so happy there and although we still have some emotional pick-ups she is doing better. This past Sunday Ella had her first American birthday party and did really well during the hour and a half of jumping in the castles but pretty much hit the wall when it was time for cake and ice-cream. I had to spoon feed her the ice-cream, and she was pretty much done with the whole thing once she got her goodie bag. Too funny, but it was great to see her playing with the other kids and having fun. Unfortunately, I left my camera at our local park and have not received a phone call from the person who found it! :( Hope to post updated pics soon...(here's to wishing that I get my camera back!!)

The things I am finding out about my daughter!

Hi Everyone,

So Ella and I have settled into a routine schedule once we get home -play, dinner, shower, walk the dog, movie/bed time. Tonight however, my lovely daughter says to me as I am getting the water the right temperature for the shower "Ma, look at this". I look down to see my daughter doing the splits! I say, "Wow, that can't feel good on the tile" and she says "watch this" and proceeds to do the splits with her legs horizontally and bends completely forward until her head touches the ground. Now, if you know anything about our family, we are as flexible as a steel rod. I was not sure what to make of her performance and then burst out laughing when she proceeded to put her feet behind her head!!! What? My sister Julie who is an OT noticed Ella's flexibility but this was something to see her perform and show off. Guess we are headed to tumbling class to see if she will enjoy putting her flexibility to the test.
We had curriculum night at our school this week and Ella remains very happy about her class and teacher, and I couldn't be more thankful. She still says "yeah school" when we turn on to the street that takes us to her school in the morning. Ella is doing really good at keeping it together when I pick her up now and usually can't wait to show me her new band-aid from her day's activities. It is just so wonderful to see her come out of her shell and feel more comfortable and safe. My wonderful cousin Jolene sent me a book for Ella entitled Motherbridge of Love. To all my adoptive friends, if you have an older child this is truly a must read!! I have always talked to Ella about her China family and her American family and have even drawn pictures to encourage her to talk about her foster mom and her new mom, however Ella never seemed to want to explore this or talk about it. My Aunt Anne even sent us this wonderful book that is written with Ella's name explaining her adoption story, but it still seemed that Ella could not grasp the concept. (My daughter was not told she was going to be adopted according to her). When Ella saw this book and looked at the pages she wanted me to read it over and over again. The illustrations are amazing and for whatever reason, the two Mom concept seemed to click for my daughter. It helps that the pictures of the American Mom and little girl are doing things that Ella and I do together. I have seen a marked difference in her physical contact and just plain silliness since we have read the story, and I am so happy that she was able to derive some comfort from seeing what I have been telling her all along be put in story book form. Now, if only I could get through the whole book without bawling. Poor Ella, she must think, "Geez Mom, I want you to read it again, but get a grip" :)!!! Hope you are all doing well and staying healthy!

Hello!

Hi Everyone,

Ella and I seem to be settling into a good routine. She is doing really good at school and is taking an extra art class on Fridays that she really likes. Our routine at home seems to be helping her in the attachment area as well. Ella laughs out loud when she sees the flag on our street corner and yells "YEAH our house". In fact Ella called me MaMa for the first time on purpose today which was wonderful and hard not to burst out in tears of joy! :) We had a very busy day today with swimming, McDonalds playland and a playdate with our neighbor friend Paige. With Paige, the girls made some tutus and crowns and blew up balloons(pics). Ella is a champ at balloon blowing and helped Paige blow up her first balloon by herself. The girls had a great time and Ella was even willing to go and check out Paige's house to see her room and playroom and wants to put another playdate on the calendar with Paige to have at her house. Grandma stopped by to say hello as well and Ella couldn't have been happier(pic). I heard some hard news for some of my single adoptive friends who heard via rumor mill that the SN program will no longer be available for singles. I had a mini heart attack when I heard this even though I have my daughter home and safe because I could not imagine if I was denied her simply because I was single. I hope this does not happen as there are so many wonderful single parents for these older kids. Although this adoptive path is not for the weak of heart, I am so thankful that I took the leap and found my daughter in the SN program, and sooo very thankful that I opened my heart to an older child. Ella is amazing and I cannot imagine life without her as my daughter. Off to read a book to Ella...our good wishes to all.

Oh My Gosh!

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a great Labor Day Week-end! Ella and I had a wonderful, busy week-end. On Saturday we went to the Zoo-this time with one of Ella's friends in the neighborhood. The girls had a blast and despite the heat, really enjoyed seeing all the animals. We had lunch at the McDonald's play house and Ella actually ran into two kids from her school. Ella is such a pro on this jungle gym and the four kids had a blast. We finished our day with a great swim and this time, even though Ella's friend was a strong swimmer, Ella got in the pool and jumped and swam the whole time. The day ended fabulous because our beloved Aunt Marianne came to visit! Ella's grandparents are back in town as well, and we all had a nice dinner. Since it was Saturday night, Ella was decked out in all her princess finery- crown, earrings, necklace and princess shoes! It was a wonderful day and I could have slept for 24 hours after all that fun! :) Ella of course was up and ready to roll on Sunday and thankfully Aunt Marianne was ready to step in and play. The nights are cooling off here, so we are taking advantage of the last of the swimming days and I am looking into some swimming lessons since Ella really enjoys her time in the pool. I am constantly amazed at how well Ella is adapting and each day as we experience a new first- our first rainbow, our first time gardening, our first smiling and happy school pick up :), I am in awe at her ability to begin to trust in her new life. It is hard to imagine that is has been just over one month when I met my amazing daughter. One of the first phrases Ella learned from her friends at school was "Oh my gosh". Of course the gosh part was taught by Mom because when Ella came home from school it was something to the effect of "Oh My Godnogd". Since it sounded like she was swearing with her accent, we exchanged the last word to Gosh and now, Ella likes to use this phrase pretty much all day long. The funny part is that she uses it in the right context and when people hear her say it they typically burst out laughing which pleases Ella to no end. My little one is quit the entertainer. The last pic is from tonight when Grandma came to visit and read Ella her new book from the library. Ella loves being able to pick out different books and with all the princess and hello kitty books out there, she is one happy camper. She also adores her Grandma and was very happy to get a special visit tonight. Hope you are all doing well.....

We do like to read!

Hi Everyone,

Well, we are happy to report that we have survived our first full week of work and school! Boy am I happy it is Friday night. Ella was just amazing this week and although she woke up this morning looking exhausted, she jumped up and down and proclaimed "YEAH SCHOOL". I am so happy we decided to stick with the program and her lovely teacher told me today how "lucky are we, she is just amazing and doing so well". She said it would probably be less than a month and she thinks she will have to say to Ella, "Sit down Ella, Stop talking Ella". She admires my daughter's spirit thankfully and really is enjoying watching Ella come out of her shell. Things are settling in at home as well. Yesterday was a very expressive bonding day for Ella which was quit nice for Mom. Ella was very talkative, and wanted to be with Mom at all times and rest her head on my shoulder while she was telling her stories. It is amazing the range of her vocabulary in such a short time. Tonight at dinner she told me "I don't know" and has been asking non-stop "what's that" for the last couple of days. What a great change in just one short week. Last night we learned that we had to read a little before we could watch our movie before bed. It was so wonderful to watch her look through the pics in the book and try to figure it out (pics), and after we finished reading the book, she said "That's great now they are friends". Amazing. Hope you are all doing well...

Apparently I am not above bribing my child!

After picking up Ella from school on Monday and having the biggest melt down on record :) I have resorted to bribing my beautiful daughter. On Monday I tried the car lane instead of parking and meeting Ella at her class to see if she would grasp that all the other kids in her class were being picked up by their parents. Unfortunately, Ella saw our car and refused to move! Now if you have kids you pick up, you can imagine the LONG line of cars as the parents are waiting for their child. The line is suppose to move quickly and smoothly so you can imagine the horror on the faces of the teachers who were working the line when my child refused to get up and get in the car. I had to jump out of the car, pick her up and get her in her car seat to leave. Ahhh, the looks I received. Needless to say, I will not be picking her up that way again! Since I am back to work now, she gets some extra playtime with her friends, and I decided to bring a balloon on Tuesday which worked wonders. No tears, no screaming and no melt down. YEAH! Ella is doing really great at school and outside of still not wanting to read any books she just seems to be doing quit well. I am also really happy and relieved to report that Ella's labs all came back towards the healthy range and we will just have to watch her but she should be fine! This is great news and we are so thankful. On our walk tonight, we came across a rattle snake, or I should say, Harley sniffed out a rattler. Fortunately it was dead because I was focused on Ella when Harley had walked into one our neighbors driveways and right beside the driveway near the sidewalk was a HUGE rattler. I, of course, screamed like a little girl and yanked poor Harley off her feet before I realized that it was not rattling nor moving and thankfully was dead. Not sure why or how it had died, but someone was looking out for little Miss Harley today!! Ella was very interested in it, and actually had a hard time seeing it since it blended in with the rocks, but eventually found it and thought it was pretty cool. For the rest of the walk, she would yell "Nol Harley" whenever Harley wanted to leave the sidewalk. Very cute to hear, and we are working on the extra letters she seems to add to words that end in vowels. I am enjoying the intellectual part of being back to work and am working on the endurance part once we get home. :) Hope you are all doing well!