"I want to go home......I don't want to go home!"

Hi Everyone,

I am not sure how to sum up the last few weeks except to say it has been anything but predictable. Work for me has been incredibly busy, but I am actually enjoying the neck breaking pace and having new products to learn. That said, it seems that my little one is going through some major attachment issues and seems to be coming out on the healthy side. Last week-end after spending a wonderful day at dance class and a birthday party, Ella started telling me about all the great things she was going to show me when we went back to China. She wanted to show me her school and her boys and girls and her beautiful bathroom. (She tends to fantasize about parts of her past which is normal for these kidos). After she finished telling me all the things we were going to do, I said it will be wonderful to meet all of her China friends, and we would have some great pictures to share with her new friends when we came home. Unfortunately, Ella had no plans of coming home and we had a bit of a rough week-end processing her new life. Fast forward to yesterday, and Ella had a birthday party at one of her friends houses. This little friend is currently taking Mandarin classes from a tutor, and the tutor actually came to the party. Since we had talked about Ella joining the tutoring lessons, it was nice to meet the teacher and see how Ella would respond. Although she didn't talk to her at first, she enjoyed the "silly" teacher and by the end of the party, Ella was writing her name in Chinese characters and talking with the teacher and saying she would like to come to classes. As we were leaving, Ella became very quiet and started to cry, and I thought we were headed for another discussion about "going back home" but instead my little one began sobbing that she never wanted to go back to China and wanted to stay with Mommy forever! We then talked about her new family and how this was forever and I would never let anyone take her away and she said "I love my family so much". I am so happy for Ella and only wished I had someone speak at length to her in Mandarin a month ago! jk. I know we have many stages of attachment to still complete but I am so thankful and happy that she is moving through her grief and headed towards understanding that it is safe to trust and love her new family. Wishing you all a wonderful Holiday week and hope you are able to spend some quality time with your families. LUV

Does Zach have an ass?

Hi Everyone,

Well as good as I am at understanding my daughter's English, I have to admit that I was clueless today when she shouted out loud "Does Zach have an ass?". This of course was done loudly and publicly at our local grocery store tonight after we met one our neighbor boys Zach who is a bagger at the store. I had to repeat her question and then of course ask her were she learned that word, and she said "You know, like a snake". Oh, of course, does Zach have an S. Not ass. :) I love that she is trying to spell out words and look forward to many more laugh out loud moments. Ella received a really neat princess tent from her Aunt Kristi and Uncle Chuck and has pretty much been living in it every chance she gets. Unfortunately, Harley would also like to move in! Ah, the adjustments continue for little miss Harley. Some more pics from the week-end and tent living. Wishing you all a great week.

The Walking Dead....

Hi Everyone,

What a birthday celebration for Ella! After battling the flu and then bilateral ear infections for the past week, I am so thankful my entire family came in to help with Ella's first American birthday celebration. I am not sure what I would have done without all the help! Ella's b-day started with a before dawn wake-up due to anticipation and excitement for her special day. The joy on her face when she saw the streamers on her door and her first birthday present waiting for her was just amazing. The day from then on was pretty much a big blur. I am happy to say that despite a Mom who could hardly hear, an Aunt with laryngitis, a Grandpa with a sore back aka the walking dead, we pulled off a pretty fun party. Although, it was the first time I thought that two hours would never end....:)! After having gone to a birthday party in at a jumping castle warehouse, Ella requested a Princess Jumping Castle for her party. Once I found the only park in our city that would allow jumping castles, I decided to book the ramada and reserve the castle. We invited all of Ella's classmates and had a pretty great turn-out with her cousins also attending with 24 kids total. We had a minor castle disaster ten minutes before the party after the castle man had left when we looked over and the entire castle had collapsed. Frantic calls without successfully reaching anyone forced us to come up with plan B which was to have Aunt Julie tape up the gaping hole with duct tape. A half of roll later and we were back in business ready for the jumping fun to begin. Ella had a wonderful time and is already asking when her birthday will come again. Ha. Her birthday theme was everything princess of course and even her cupcakes were snow white appropriate. Since Ella says she is seven, we had a China seven birthday cupcake and an American sixth birthday cupcake to celebrate and this made Ella all the more happy. Today after we had a quiet house again and Ella was headed to bed, she said "I have such a big family" and I told her we all love her very much and she said "I love my family". Doesn't get better than that! Wishing you all the best!

Halloween Fun

Hi Everyone,

Well Ella has had a very busy couple of days full of fun. On Friday they celebrated All Saints day at school and unfortunately, Mom did not receive the memo on dressing up as a saint, so on Thursday as I am dropping Ella off for school I notice other Moms talking about the parade and dressing up. Fortunately, the options were to dress as a saint, Mary or an angel. A quick visit to the Savers store and we had a full Angel outfit ready to go. (pic) Ella had so much fun on Friday with the parade and activities that she pretty much passed out on our way home while she was eating her snack! (pic) Saturday was a "bery bery busy day" according to Ella and I completely agree! We started our day with our tumble and dance class that Ella continues to love and is really thriving in the dance portion. After our dance class, we hurried home to get ready for Halloween and a visit from Aunt Marianne and Grandma and Grandpa who all came over to celebrate the evening. Ella was very excited to dress up as Snow White since we were actually going to do her hair and wear make-up like Snow White. I think the transformation was pretty adorable and she certainly received many "you look just like Snow White" comments from our neighbors. It was really fun to see Ella enjoy the evening and after two houses, she pretty much got the ring the doorbell, say thank-you and get candy routine down!Ella's Aunt Marianne dressed up for the evening and at first Ella didn't want anything to do with her but realized after Aunt Marianne talked to her and took her drag queen wig off that everything was ok. Unfortunately, Mom's costume as a witch didn't go over so good, and I had to quickly take off the costume to avoid a total melt down! :) We had a great evening as the weather was perfect and a full moon to light our way. Hoping you all had a wonderful week-end!

"My head is no working"

Hi Everyone,

Quick post to share that my daughter says the most adorable things!! I was really late picking her up from school today because my battery died and I was working in Casa Grande. So, by the time I did pick her up, it was actually freezing outside but there is my daughter in her jumper, NO sweater, swinging away on the swings laughing and having a great time. When she runs up to me to say hello, her hands and nose are freezing and I ask her where is her sweater? She says "Oh no, I don't know". I asked her if she left it inside and she says yes, "My head is no working". Hmmm, I might just have to remember that line the next time I forget to do something! :) Ella really is doing just great and she gets to dress up as an Angel on Friday for All Saints day which she is sooo excited to do. I am still working on figuring out how to make her hair look like snow whites for Halloween but have the lipstick and bow set. Pics of Ella tonight being silly, her favorite princess pumpkin and her annoyed puppy!

Another Week Down....

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all have had a great week. Ella and I had our usual busy week of school and work but happily had a three day week-end due to teachers conferences at Ella's school. We took advantage of the extra day and headed to Phoenix to visit with our Uncle Chuck and Aunt Kristi and cousin's Charlie and Liam for the day. We had a great time playing at this amazing park in Chandler and Ella was able to swing to her hearts content. The only thing that made the day more fun was that we were headed to Aunt Marianne's house for the night. Ella of course was besides herself to see her Aunt Marianne and happily ran and gave her a huge hug! What a great gift and it was really amazing to see her spontaneous physical show of affection. In fact, Ella started calling me Mommy this week. At first, I couldn't figure out what she was saying, and then once I did, I wondered if she was just trying it out because it is a term I have never used with her. I figure she must have learned this from school from the other kids and has decided that this is the name she will use for me. (Works for me since ungh and hey are beyond annoying at this point!) At lunch today she announced that she had two Mommies and I am so happy that she has finally begun to feel that safety and security that I have been trying so hard to instill in my little one. Ella had another first this week-end when she lost her first tooth!! She was so excited since she loves all things fairy and knew that since she had lost her tooth, the tooth fairy would come and visit. Unfortunately, when nighttime came, the excitement and anticipation turned quickly to fear and Ella didn't want anything to do with the tooth fairy. After waking up three times crying, Mom finally told her that the fairy had already came and left her a silver dollar. Much happier and one silver dollar richer, Ella fell asleep and slept through the night. Today we carved our first pumpkin and Ella insisted that we make a princess face on her pumpkin. She was very happy when it was done, and was amazed when I put the candle inside. I am not sure Ella has ever blown out a candle, because she had no idea what to do and wanted to try it again and again! Our week-end ended with a lovely dinner at her Grandma and Grandpa's house where Ella was able to meet my Aunt T., Aunt Alice and Uncle Bob. Ella was very excited to show off her missing tooth and also demonstrate her new jumping rope talent. She is up to 21 jumps! Pics of our week-end...

"Where is Snow White?"

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all have had a great week! Ella and I have been very busy this week with the usual school and work schedule, but we had a FANTASTIC week-end with our Aunt Marianne! On Friday Ella discovered the fun of making mud pies and how to plant flowers. Actually, the flowers she wanted to plant were weeds that had grown in the yard, but I figure they had already done their damage so might as well stick them in a pot-(first pic). Saturday we officially started with our tumble and ballet class (2nd pic) and Ella was so happy she can't wait for next Saturday. Our fun day continued when Aunt Marianne came to visit and all of us including Grandma went to see Disney on Ice. Unfortunately, I thought it was Princesses on Ice that had come to town and after telling Ella about the Princesses she would see including Snow White she was over the moon with excitement! As the show began, I noticed the banner had no princesses on it and I knew we were in trouble! :) Ella still had a great time even if she asked for Snow White every 15 minutes!! After the show we all headed out for a nice girls only dinner. Today Aunt Marianne offered to take Ella to Grandma and Grandpa's house to make her famous pumpkin cookies and I thankfully took her up on the offer as I desperately needed to clean out the garage. Five hours later and one full recycle can and garbage can along with one SUV full of donations the garage was done. Ella had so much fun with Aunt Marianne and her Grandparents that she didn't want the day to end. We are gearing up for our first birthday celebration on November 7th and am happy to say that all my sisters will be here to help!! Ella has asked to invite all of her class so with her cousins and neighborhood friends we are going to have one busy day. Wishing you all a great week!

Pumpkin Patch Fun

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Hi Everyone,

What a crazy busy week-end we all had here with our cousins Hanna and Connor coming to visit. Our Saturday started with our first tumble and ballet class and after a very rough start Ella warmed up and had a great time. I figured it would be a no brainer given her love of dance and her flexibility, but when we first arrived and Ella realized it was a gymnasium, she went into shut down mode but after hanging out with Mom for a little while and realizing that all the girls were just having fun she eventually joined in and during the ballet portion she really shined and had a great time. Later in the day on Saturday, after Ella's cousins arrived, we played at our favorite park and showed our cousins all the fun things we love to do. Today we headed to Amado to visit Augua Linda Farm for pumpkin picking, tracker hay rides and pony riding. Ella really enjoys playing with her cousins and they can't believe how much English that Ella can speak. The farm was wonderful minus the bees! Pics of our fun day including the car ride home with some tired little ones! :)

I Love Grandma

Hi Everyone,

Well we have had a roller coaster of emotions at our house the last few days! Ella had a rough Sunday missing her "China Mommy" and wanting to go home. We had been playing a game of who are you going to visit as I cleaned the kitchen, and after Ella pretended to visit her cousins Nina and Claire and her Aunt Julie and Aunt Marianne, she decided she was going to go visit her China Mom and then the next thing I know, Ella is standing in the kitchen telling me she wanted to be able to wear her sandals back to China and the dress and jewelry she was wearing. I knew we had suddenly turned from fantasy to reality and poor little miss Ella quickly went downhill. We were able to talk about her China Mom and living here and I will say, it was the first time we were able to talk about her emotions and she was able to tell me how she was feeling. Thankfully, Ella was able to draw on her resiliency and pulled her self out of her sadness to end the day on a happy note at the park. As heartbroken as I was for my little one, I was amazed that in only two month's time, we were able to communicate enough to help her find a happy space.
Fast forward to two days later, and my daughter tells me as I am cooking dinner that she "loves Grandma". I asked her if she said "You love Grandma" and she says "Yes, she is fun". I told her that is so great because Grandma loves her too and then asked who else she loves, and she says "I love Aunt Marianne she is so silly". Ha, love that adjective for Aunt Marianne! We are trying to stay healthy here and hope you are all doing well!

The little steps to bonding!

Hi Everyone,

What a fun night Ella and I just shared! We "booed" two of our neighbors since we had thoughtfully been "booed" last night. Booing is putting together a Halloween treat basket with a cute note saying you have been booed and anonymously ringing the doorbell and leaving. At our first neighbors house Ella wanted nothing to do with the ringing and ditching idea, however, after Mom ran like a crazy lady after ringing the doorbell Ella was on board and took over for the next house. It was really fun and Ella laughed the whole time as we ran away like thieves in the night! My beautiful daughter told me she loved me tonight. At least that is what I thought she said as she was trying to read the words on one of our Halloween decorations. The word started with an I and the next thing she said was "I love you". Not wanting to react like a slobbering fool, I said "I love you too" and little miss Ella just smiled and went on eating her watermelon. Although it was not what she had intended, the little smile and acceptance of my saying I love her will keep me going for at least another week or so!! :) I will say that we are moving in the right direction for bonding as Ella will clarify her stories about her Mommy in China now by saying "My China Mommy" instead of just "My Mommy". I am hoping this is the next step in her beginning to say "My American Mommy" or "My Mom" or "Mom Rosey" really anything but "Eh" would be great. All good things in time!! We had our first post adoption visit by our social worker this Friday and everything went fine. Fortunately, Grandma and Grandpa were over for dinner and were willing to stay and occupy Ella's time while I spoke with the social worker. We have to complete two more visits over the next 18 months.
Tonight, little Miss Ella told me about the baby in her house in China and that she used to have to carry the baby all around on her back and said the baby was soooo heavy to carry in the front. Considering Ella only weighed 32lbs when we met, I cannot imagine her lugging a baby around but she definitely remembers having to do this and wanted me to know how strong she was. Ella is just so amazing and I have to laugh since she will occasionally ask me to carry her like a baby cradled in my arms. She thinks this is so funny and just loves it.
We had a rather hectic health week with four vaccine shots, a raging night fever and then a fever blister. We also had an episode of choking on our sea weed, and trauma nurse Mom acted like an incompetent boob for at least five seconds until thankfully my training kicked in and I was able to help her. I think this must be why they say you should not work on your own family in health care!! Poor baby, put she is such a champ! Ella continues to do well at school and for the first time completed the phonics page all by herself and got 22 out of 24 on the assignment. Not bad for four weeks in school!!
Hope you are all doing well!
ps- Cousin Laurie, Ella just adored your thoughtfulness!!

And the fabrication begins...

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all doing well! I have been talking more and more to Ella about her "Mommy" and interestingly her "Daddy" a word she has learned at school and now wants to associate it to her foster family but cannot make the link. When I ask her to talk about this "Daddy" she can't. When she talks about her "house" in China she will hardly ever mention any individuals by name, but told me today that her BaBa gave her a sucker. Ella also informed me the other day that her "Mommy" is in China and I am not her! Ah, the love! :) We continue to work on our attachment, and again, I am so thankful that she had people that she loved during her time at the orphanage. I am also happy to be able to learn a few things about her foster parents so that I will be able to tell Ella about them when she is older. It sure is funny some of the things she comes up with about her time there. She told me today that she did not have a dog at her house in China like Harley but had a red and green cat but they "flew away" and so they are not there anymore. I told her "I have never heard of such a thing" and she solemnly nodded her head and smiled. I also learned tonight that her "Mommy" had black hair like her and that I have "white" hair. Now, I realize it has been a long time since I have had my roots done, but "white"!! I asked her if she meant brown or yellow and she said no, white. Ok, going to get the roots colored asap! I also learned today that her bathroom in China was so much bigger then her bathroom here and that five people would brush their teeth all together. When I asked her if they were her foster brothers and sisters she said "No" they were "just two boys and three girls and the boys got to go first". I am beginning to understand my daughter's need to be first at everything and I do mean everything! I think one of the funniest things Ella says now is "I wanna try it" when there is some new food or drink and the way she says it has me laughing out loud every time. Unfortunately, we have had very few positive reactions to new foods but she continues to try which is great. Today Ella met my good friend Tina and her daughter Madeline at McDonalds playland and we took our neighbor Paige again for an outing. The girls had a great time so much so that my little one was way over tired tonight and it was the first night it was a bear to get her to go to sleep! Thankfully, Harley tried to jump on the bed to see what the heck she was wailing about and this pretty much snapped her out of the wailing long enough to fall asleep. Thank you Harley!! The two of them are doing much better, and earlier tonight when I dropped a carton of eggs on the floor, Ella came over to pull Harley away by the collar and Harley listened and followed her. Pretty amazing considering Harley weighs 2x as much as little miss Ella. I couldn't be any happier for both of them as they are finally finding their place with each other. Posting some pics of Ella with her neighbor friends....

Long Weeks...

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all doing well! I cannot believe it has been over a week since I have posted but it just confirms how insanely busy the past couple of weeks have been. Over the week-end I took Ella and Paige back to the Zoo and this time another six year old neighbor came as well. Could have been me and the exhaustion from a busy work week but man, that third child made the entire day feel like an eternity. I also think that since Paige and Ella have played together so much they have a nice groove going and the third wheel certainly applied to the extra friend. Needless to say, we will be keeping our outings to two from now on. Hats off to all my Mom friends with more than two kiddos at home! Ella seems to be settling in and I am finding rather alarming the fact that she is losing her Mandarin so quickly. We utilize the translator each day, but she says "I don't know" more and more often when I ask her how to say something in Mandarin. I had her listen to some childhood songs in Mandarin today, and she struggled with many of the verses as she sang. I would love to get her into our local Chinese cultural center but when I pull up the pictures and talk about going to visit and play, she becomes nervous and says "no go". I realize part of this is her fear of perhaps having to go back to China but I worry that if I do not push the matter with her, she will lose her Mandarin completely! Ella is doing really well at school and still says "Yeah School" each day. What a joy to know she is so happy there and although we still have some emotional pick-ups she is doing better. This past Sunday Ella had her first American birthday party and did really well during the hour and a half of jumping in the castles but pretty much hit the wall when it was time for cake and ice-cream. I had to spoon feed her the ice-cream, and she was pretty much done with the whole thing once she got her goodie bag. Too funny, but it was great to see her playing with the other kids and having fun. Unfortunately, I left my camera at our local park and have not received a phone call from the person who found it! :( Hope to post updated pics soon...(here's to wishing that I get my camera back!!)

The things I am finding out about my daughter!

Hi Everyone,

So Ella and I have settled into a routine schedule once we get home -play, dinner, shower, walk the dog, movie/bed time. Tonight however, my lovely daughter says to me as I am getting the water the right temperature for the shower "Ma, look at this". I look down to see my daughter doing the splits! I say, "Wow, that can't feel good on the tile" and she says "watch this" and proceeds to do the splits with her legs horizontally and bends completely forward until her head touches the ground. Now, if you know anything about our family, we are as flexible as a steel rod. I was not sure what to make of her performance and then burst out laughing when she proceeded to put her feet behind her head!!! What? My sister Julie who is an OT noticed Ella's flexibility but this was something to see her perform and show off. Guess we are headed to tumbling class to see if she will enjoy putting her flexibility to the test.
We had curriculum night at our school this week and Ella remains very happy about her class and teacher, and I couldn't be more thankful. She still says "yeah school" when we turn on to the street that takes us to her school in the morning. Ella is doing really good at keeping it together when I pick her up now and usually can't wait to show me her new band-aid from her day's activities. It is just so wonderful to see her come out of her shell and feel more comfortable and safe. My wonderful cousin Jolene sent me a book for Ella entitled Motherbridge of Love. To all my adoptive friends, if you have an older child this is truly a must read!! I have always talked to Ella about her China family and her American family and have even drawn pictures to encourage her to talk about her foster mom and her new mom, however Ella never seemed to want to explore this or talk about it. My Aunt Anne even sent us this wonderful book that is written with Ella's name explaining her adoption story, but it still seemed that Ella could not grasp the concept. (My daughter was not told she was going to be adopted according to her). When Ella saw this book and looked at the pages she wanted me to read it over and over again. The illustrations are amazing and for whatever reason, the two Mom concept seemed to click for my daughter. It helps that the pictures of the American Mom and little girl are doing things that Ella and I do together. I have seen a marked difference in her physical contact and just plain silliness since we have read the story, and I am so happy that she was able to derive some comfort from seeing what I have been telling her all along be put in story book form. Now, if only I could get through the whole book without bawling. Poor Ella, she must think, "Geez Mom, I want you to read it again, but get a grip" :)!!! Hope you are all doing well and staying healthy!

Hello!

Hi Everyone,

Ella and I seem to be settling into a good routine. She is doing really good at school and is taking an extra art class on Fridays that she really likes. Our routine at home seems to be helping her in the attachment area as well. Ella laughs out loud when she sees the flag on our street corner and yells "YEAH our house". In fact Ella called me MaMa for the first time on purpose today which was wonderful and hard not to burst out in tears of joy! :) We had a very busy day today with swimming, McDonalds playland and a playdate with our neighbor friend Paige. With Paige, the girls made some tutus and crowns and blew up balloons(pics). Ella is a champ at balloon blowing and helped Paige blow up her first balloon by herself. The girls had a great time and Ella was even willing to go and check out Paige's house to see her room and playroom and wants to put another playdate on the calendar with Paige to have at her house. Grandma stopped by to say hello as well and Ella couldn't have been happier(pic). I heard some hard news for some of my single adoptive friends who heard via rumor mill that the SN program will no longer be available for singles. I had a mini heart attack when I heard this even though I have my daughter home and safe because I could not imagine if I was denied her simply because I was single. I hope this does not happen as there are so many wonderful single parents for these older kids. Although this adoptive path is not for the weak of heart, I am so thankful that I took the leap and found my daughter in the SN program, and sooo very thankful that I opened my heart to an older child. Ella is amazing and I cannot imagine life without her as my daughter. Off to read a book to Ella...our good wishes to all.

Oh My Gosh!

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a great Labor Day Week-end! Ella and I had a wonderful, busy week-end. On Saturday we went to the Zoo-this time with one of Ella's friends in the neighborhood. The girls had a blast and despite the heat, really enjoyed seeing all the animals. We had lunch at the McDonald's play house and Ella actually ran into two kids from her school. Ella is such a pro on this jungle gym and the four kids had a blast. We finished our day with a great swim and this time, even though Ella's friend was a strong swimmer, Ella got in the pool and jumped and swam the whole time. The day ended fabulous because our beloved Aunt Marianne came to visit! Ella's grandparents are back in town as well, and we all had a nice dinner. Since it was Saturday night, Ella was decked out in all her princess finery- crown, earrings, necklace and princess shoes! It was a wonderful day and I could have slept for 24 hours after all that fun! :) Ella of course was up and ready to roll on Sunday and thankfully Aunt Marianne was ready to step in and play. The nights are cooling off here, so we are taking advantage of the last of the swimming days and I am looking into some swimming lessons since Ella really enjoys her time in the pool. I am constantly amazed at how well Ella is adapting and each day as we experience a new first- our first rainbow, our first time gardening, our first smiling and happy school pick up :), I am in awe at her ability to begin to trust in her new life. It is hard to imagine that is has been just over one month when I met my amazing daughter. One of the first phrases Ella learned from her friends at school was "Oh my gosh". Of course the gosh part was taught by Mom because when Ella came home from school it was something to the effect of "Oh My Godnogd". Since it sounded like she was swearing with her accent, we exchanged the last word to Gosh and now, Ella likes to use this phrase pretty much all day long. The funny part is that she uses it in the right context and when people hear her say it they typically burst out laughing which pleases Ella to no end. My little one is quit the entertainer. The last pic is from tonight when Grandma came to visit and read Ella her new book from the library. Ella loves being able to pick out different books and with all the princess and hello kitty books out there, she is one happy camper. She also adores her Grandma and was very happy to get a special visit tonight. Hope you are all doing well.....

We do like to read!

Hi Everyone,

Well, we are happy to report that we have survived our first full week of work and school! Boy am I happy it is Friday night. Ella was just amazing this week and although she woke up this morning looking exhausted, she jumped up and down and proclaimed "YEAH SCHOOL". I am so happy we decided to stick with the program and her lovely teacher told me today how "lucky are we, she is just amazing and doing so well". She said it would probably be less than a month and she thinks she will have to say to Ella, "Sit down Ella, Stop talking Ella". She admires my daughter's spirit thankfully and really is enjoying watching Ella come out of her shell. Things are settling in at home as well. Yesterday was a very expressive bonding day for Ella which was quit nice for Mom. Ella was very talkative, and wanted to be with Mom at all times and rest her head on my shoulder while she was telling her stories. It is amazing the range of her vocabulary in such a short time. Tonight at dinner she told me "I don't know" and has been asking non-stop "what's that" for the last couple of days. What a great change in just one short week. Last night we learned that we had to read a little before we could watch our movie before bed. It was so wonderful to watch her look through the pics in the book and try to figure it out (pics), and after we finished reading the book, she said "That's great now they are friends". Amazing. Hope you are all doing well...

Apparently I am not above bribing my child!

After picking up Ella from school on Monday and having the biggest melt down on record :) I have resorted to bribing my beautiful daughter. On Monday I tried the car lane instead of parking and meeting Ella at her class to see if she would grasp that all the other kids in her class were being picked up by their parents. Unfortunately, Ella saw our car and refused to move! Now if you have kids you pick up, you can imagine the LONG line of cars as the parents are waiting for their child. The line is suppose to move quickly and smoothly so you can imagine the horror on the faces of the teachers who were working the line when my child refused to get up and get in the car. I had to jump out of the car, pick her up and get her in her car seat to leave. Ahhh, the looks I received. Needless to say, I will not be picking her up that way again! Since I am back to work now, she gets some extra playtime with her friends, and I decided to bring a balloon on Tuesday which worked wonders. No tears, no screaming and no melt down. YEAH! Ella is doing really great at school and outside of still not wanting to read any books she just seems to be doing quit well. I am also really happy and relieved to report that Ella's labs all came back towards the healthy range and we will just have to watch her but she should be fine! This is great news and we are so thankful. On our walk tonight, we came across a rattle snake, or I should say, Harley sniffed out a rattler. Fortunately it was dead because I was focused on Ella when Harley had walked into one our neighbors driveways and right beside the driveway near the sidewalk was a HUGE rattler. I, of course, screamed like a little girl and yanked poor Harley off her feet before I realized that it was not rattling nor moving and thankfully was dead. Not sure why or how it had died, but someone was looking out for little Miss Harley today!! Ella was very interested in it, and actually had a hard time seeing it since it blended in with the rocks, but eventually found it and thought it was pretty cool. For the rest of the walk, she would yell "Nol Harley" whenever Harley wanted to leave the sidewalk. Very cute to hear, and we are working on the extra letters she seems to add to words that end in vowels. I am enjoying the intellectual part of being back to work and am working on the endurance part once we get home. :) Hope you are all doing well!

We met some more of our cousins today!

Hi Everyone,

Today Ella had a great day. After playing at our park with Harley, where Ella found it so amusing that Harley loved to go down the slide too, we met Aunt Mindy, and our cousins Tate, Edie and Macy at McDonalds play land! What a day. Ella was too fast for her cousins on the play gym, so after explaining that her cousins needed her to show them the way, she grabbed Tate's hand and off they went. The girls had a great time and then we all came back home for swimming. Unfortunately, Ella's cousins are fishes and seeing them swim Ella would not get in her pool. She was pretty exhausted at this point, so all the girls had fun in a big bubble bath and watched Thumbelina to wind down. (Pic). Once our visitors left, Ella slept for a good hour. Now if only I could figure out how to get her to rest in her room during the day vs driving in the car. Small steps....
Ella is very excited for school tomorrow, and I had her help pack her lunch before bedtime so that she knows what she will be eating and also what is in each container. Hopefully we will manage at least half of our lunch tomorrow before playtime. I am planning on going back to work this week starting on Tuesday if all goes well. We are planning to hear nothing but more good news from the doctor and appreciate all the good thoughts and prayers on that front. One more update I am happy to share, when Ella rode her bike tonight after dinner as we walked Harley (part of our nighttime routine) she wanted to hold my hand the whole way. I have to giggle at the moments Ella picks for closeness... In my one hand I have a 65lb dog pulling on her leash at everything that moves because she thinks it is a lizard, and while holding Ella with my other hand I have to try and keep her upright on her bike and moving forward all the while smiling and laughing at how absurd we must look! :) I just love these moments!!!

Hmmmm, I thought playdates meant down time?

Hi Everyone,

I am very happy to report that Ella's doctor appointment yesterday came with great news! Her chest xray was relatively normal and that means no more work ups for that part! YEAH! Today we had our blood drawn for the necessary tests, and Ella was once again an amazing champ! The tech was going to call in people to hold her down, and I asked her not to call anyone as I would be able to help her and told her that Ella would not move just like most adults. True to fashion, she was able to handle the poke and was more interested in her band aid then anything else! As we waited we saw everyone come out with their arms wrapped and Ella was happy to see that she not only got her arm wrapped up but she also was able to put a sticker on top too! Today was our first true "time in" for Ella. Unfortunately after not listening to Mom, we went ahead and played with the answering machine and erased all the messages on the machine. Since we knew this was Mom's thing and not Ella's thing, we had to have a discussion on what that meant. Needless to say, this lead to crying and throwing our shoes which then resulted in the time in. Let me just say that having a time in where you have to have your child next to you as they work through their emotions is trying!!! Since my hearing had not fully recovered from the first visit to the school, I am pretty sure I am now deaf in my right ear!! Once Ella recovered enough to actually talk, we headed to the car for a "drive" which really means nap time. Later in the day, Ella had a neighbor over for a play date. Considering the amount of things for the kids to play with and the fact that they have their own little room for play away from Harley and Mom, you would think they could manage 15 minutes of play??? Ugh! We then went into activity mode and made some necklaces and painted a puzzle followed by baking Harley some of her favorite cheesy dog treats. Ella enjoyed herself and her new friend was so sad to leave! Fun time all around. My little one is learning to swim and managed to get her head under the water today! (Pic) Yeah! Ella also told me this morning that she liked school here in America vs her birth home. That was great to hear, and now I just need to work on getting her to eat her lunch at school. I think she is so excited to get to playtime, that she eats 10% and then heads out doors. This results in the massive breakdown we have when I pick her up from school. She will eventually pass out from exhaustion and when she wakes will eat her lunch and the snacks I bring. I know she will eventually work this all out, but have been working on the importance of lunch at school this week-end. Hopefully it will stick. Ella picked her lunch for the next week, so we shall see...

We are doing well at school!

Hi Everyone,

Pics are for our first full day at school! Ella is doing really well at school and has found a partner in crime in just one day. In Ella's class is a little girl from Vietnam named Mary, and she and Ella are as thick as thieves. Unfortunately, Mary does not speak any English either!! :) It is nice to see my daughter holding hands with her new friend and at play time all the kids are playing together which is just great! I volunteered for lunch time duty and was able to see Ella which was fortunate because yesterday she did not eat any of her lunch. They only have about 25 minutes to eat, and Ella could easily take 60 minutes. It was helpful to get her items out of her lunch bag and then open them for her so that she could eat. I will be packing easy items from now on and will be volunteering for the next couple of days until my leave is up. I am headed back to work next week which will actually be nice except for the fact that I need a VACATION! Ha, I am sure all my fellow Moms can understand that feeling or for that matter all my friends! These four weeks just flew by. My wonderful daughter burst into tears when she saw me again today. I know part of this is exhaustion but it is difficult to see and although I know we are still at baby steps in terms of attachment, it is hard to take. Unfortunately Ella is back to wiping my kisses off and will still not call me Mom unless her guard is down. Baby steps I know, but still very difficult to deal with on a day to day basis. I don't know how to explain this to everyone, and I am well prepared to continue the necessary work to help my daughter attach, but WOW I did not realize how four weeks of pushing and rejection from my daughter can take its toll! :) We will make it, and as I said before I left for China, I am looking forward to the next year and being able to look back and appreciate all of the difficult moments that eventually will lead to a healthy attached little girl. Pics include Ella's wonderful new kinder teacher, Mrs. Duplenty. All for now from this very exhausted lady, our love to all.