We met some more of our cousins today!

Hi Everyone,

Today Ella had a great day. After playing at our park with Harley, where Ella found it so amusing that Harley loved to go down the slide too, we met Aunt Mindy, and our cousins Tate, Edie and Macy at McDonalds play land! What a day. Ella was too fast for her cousins on the play gym, so after explaining that her cousins needed her to show them the way, she grabbed Tate's hand and off they went. The girls had a great time and then we all came back home for swimming. Unfortunately, Ella's cousins are fishes and seeing them swim Ella would not get in her pool. She was pretty exhausted at this point, so all the girls had fun in a big bubble bath and watched Thumbelina to wind down. (Pic). Once our visitors left, Ella slept for a good hour. Now if only I could figure out how to get her to rest in her room during the day vs driving in the car. Small steps....
Ella is very excited for school tomorrow, and I had her help pack her lunch before bedtime so that she knows what she will be eating and also what is in each container. Hopefully we will manage at least half of our lunch tomorrow before playtime. I am planning on going back to work this week starting on Tuesday if all goes well. We are planning to hear nothing but more good news from the doctor and appreciate all the good thoughts and prayers on that front. One more update I am happy to share, when Ella rode her bike tonight after dinner as we walked Harley (part of our nighttime routine) she wanted to hold my hand the whole way. I have to giggle at the moments Ella picks for closeness... In my one hand I have a 65lb dog pulling on her leash at everything that moves because she thinks it is a lizard, and while holding Ella with my other hand I have to try and keep her upright on her bike and moving forward all the while smiling and laughing at how absurd we must look! :) I just love these moments!!!

Hmmmm, I thought playdates meant down time?

Hi Everyone,

I am very happy to report that Ella's doctor appointment yesterday came with great news! Her chest xray was relatively normal and that means no more work ups for that part! YEAH! Today we had our blood drawn for the necessary tests, and Ella was once again an amazing champ! The tech was going to call in people to hold her down, and I asked her not to call anyone as I would be able to help her and told her that Ella would not move just like most adults. True to fashion, she was able to handle the poke and was more interested in her band aid then anything else! As we waited we saw everyone come out with their arms wrapped and Ella was happy to see that she not only got her arm wrapped up but she also was able to put a sticker on top too! Today was our first true "time in" for Ella. Unfortunately after not listening to Mom, we went ahead and played with the answering machine and erased all the messages on the machine. Since we knew this was Mom's thing and not Ella's thing, we had to have a discussion on what that meant. Needless to say, this lead to crying and throwing our shoes which then resulted in the time in. Let me just say that having a time in where you have to have your child next to you as they work through their emotions is trying!!! Since my hearing had not fully recovered from the first visit to the school, I am pretty sure I am now deaf in my right ear!! Once Ella recovered enough to actually talk, we headed to the car for a "drive" which really means nap time. Later in the day, Ella had a neighbor over for a play date. Considering the amount of things for the kids to play with and the fact that they have their own little room for play away from Harley and Mom, you would think they could manage 15 minutes of play??? Ugh! We then went into activity mode and made some necklaces and painted a puzzle followed by baking Harley some of her favorite cheesy dog treats. Ella enjoyed herself and her new friend was so sad to leave! Fun time all around. My little one is learning to swim and managed to get her head under the water today! (Pic) Yeah! Ella also told me this morning that she liked school here in America vs her birth home. That was great to hear, and now I just need to work on getting her to eat her lunch at school. I think she is so excited to get to playtime, that she eats 10% and then heads out doors. This results in the massive breakdown we have when I pick her up from school. She will eventually pass out from exhaustion and when she wakes will eat her lunch and the snacks I bring. I know she will eventually work this all out, but have been working on the importance of lunch at school this week-end. Hopefully it will stick. Ella picked her lunch for the next week, so we shall see...

We are doing well at school!

Hi Everyone,

Pics are for our first full day at school! Ella is doing really well at school and has found a partner in crime in just one day. In Ella's class is a little girl from Vietnam named Mary, and she and Ella are as thick as thieves. Unfortunately, Mary does not speak any English either!! :) It is nice to see my daughter holding hands with her new friend and at play time all the kids are playing together which is just great! I volunteered for lunch time duty and was able to see Ella which was fortunate because yesterday she did not eat any of her lunch. They only have about 25 minutes to eat, and Ella could easily take 60 minutes. It was helpful to get her items out of her lunch bag and then open them for her so that she could eat. I will be packing easy items from now on and will be volunteering for the next couple of days until my leave is up. I am headed back to work next week which will actually be nice except for the fact that I need a VACATION! Ha, I am sure all my fellow Moms can understand that feeling or for that matter all my friends! These four weeks just flew by. My wonderful daughter burst into tears when she saw me again today. I know part of this is exhaustion but it is difficult to see and although I know we are still at baby steps in terms of attachment, it is hard to take. Unfortunately Ella is back to wiping my kisses off and will still not call me Mom unless her guard is down. Baby steps I know, but still very difficult to deal with on a day to day basis. I don't know how to explain this to everyone, and I am well prepared to continue the necessary work to help my daughter attach, but WOW I did not realize how four weeks of pushing and rejection from my daughter can take its toll! :) We will make it, and as I said before I left for China, I am looking forward to the next year and being able to look back and appreciate all of the difficult moments that eventually will lead to a healthy attached little girl. Pics include Ella's wonderful new kinder teacher, Mrs. Duplenty. All for now from this very exhausted lady, our love to all.

What a difference a day makes

Hi Everyone,

We are very happy here to report that Ella went happily to school today and actually wanted to stay for the whole day! I even left to go and get her lunch and after giving her the lunch I told her I was going to leave for a little bit. I am not sure Ella even heard the whole thing because she was so busy trying to get to the playground to play. In true Xiao fashion, she managed to finish the entire work page assingment for the day when the rest of the class was just working on one letter at a time. I explained to the teacher at the break the drive these children have to always be first and she laughed and said Ella would fit right in because she has two little boys who always need to be first too! I really cannot say what changed with Ella except that when we arrived home yesterday and went over all the pictures and added the names of some of Ella's classmates and Ella's teacher's name, she seemed a little happier. I think the biggest difference was when she realized that we would be coming home after school. I am not sure she really trusted me when I said I would not leave her at school. Grandma's cookie idea was a big hit too! Ella just basically walked right into class handed the teacher the bag of cookies and looked around for an empty seat. I am so happy for her. When I picked her up, she started crying and was completely exhausted, but I could tell she was happy too. She must have been so relived that she was going home and I am not sure what she was doing at lunch time, but after eating her entire snack of grapes and seaweed I brought, she pulled out her entire lunch! Poor thing. She must have been starving on top of everything. We are set to arrive on time tomorrow and try a real first day of school. I met a lovely Mom at the school who has successfully adopted two times from China and her daughter is in the first grade. We are hoping for a strong day tomorrow and thanks to everyone for their kind words for Ella!

How do we say DISASTER?

Hi Everyone,

Let's just say that our first venture at school was, how would you say politely a TOTAL DISASTER?!! Poor thing. We had been working for the past two days on what school meant, where it was what we were going to do and although I received an excited "Yes school" after we had our teeth fixed, I think the reality of school was a whole different thing altogether. The kids in Ella's class were adorable and all came up to say hello, but this overwhelmed Ella and that is where things started to head down hill. After getting her calm enough to go outside with the class and watch the recess there was a "Ranger" visitor that was going to talk to the class. We decided to stay for the Ranger and listen to the presentation, but when he was done talking Ella was pretty much finished with the whole school thing. I am not sure I can hear out of my right ear yet, :) and the pitch and volume of her vocal expression had every teacher on the floor opening their door to find out what was going on. Needless to say, we had to leave the school at this point and head home. After getting some lunch and feeling good about being at home, we went back to all the drawings and added names to the kids faces and the teacher's name and talked about how being sad is ok but yelling and screaming is not ok at school. "Tears and sad ok, screaming not ok". I am hoping she understood what she was saying! We made some cookies to bring to class tomorrow, Grandma's idea and will give school another go. I contacted my manager to request some changes in my return date given the fact that I was suppose to start back on Monday and we are still dealing with some medical issues and now the school element. Hopefully we will be on track for next week. I also will be looking into pre-K classes as it was difficult to watch Ella's eyes glaze over during the Ranger presentation and her showing zero interest in the activities. The extra year in a repeat environment might help her feel more secure. In addition, given my daughter's constant desire to be first with everything, I think kinder might be setting her up for some unnecessary feelings of failure. Will see how tomorrow goes and get a little more feedback from the kinder teacher. Including a pic of Ella riding on her bike. Great smile! Our love to all.

What a champ!

Hi Everyone,

All I can say after today is that my daughter is the most amazing strong individual! Our day started with an outing to the park where they have this great playground along with a nice grass area for Harley. Ella Xiao loves the swings, so of course this was were we spent a good 30 minutes at the start of our visit. Unfortunately they did not have the grownup swings but the kind that have the bucket seat and Xiao, only weighing 38lbs, was a cinch to fit in. After I could no longer push her due to the bilateral rotator cuff tears from pushing, :) I suggested she try out the slides. Well my little one had bilateral blister burns on the back of her legs from the seat and didn't even notice it until she went down the slide. UGH! I felt horrible, and of course because she was being so stoic and I am on my knees taking a look to see how bad they really are. It was at this moment when Harley decided to make an entrance to check out what I was looking at. This untimely entrance resulted in a pretty big melt down for Xiao that had all the mothers looking over at me and wondering if my dog had bit this poor child. Out of about five women, one ventured up to inquire what had happened. When I looked up at her with what I am sure must have been a "you have got to be kidding me look" she said "Oh is she with you?" Too funny however, not so much at that moment. We made it home where I was able to put my old nursing skills to use and before long my daughter was repeating that she was too big for those swings and they were bad. We managed to recover and meet our cousins Hanna and Connor and Aunt Ann-Marie for lunch at the McDonalds play land and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves! The play set was amazing and Xiao loved to climb to the top and be as fast as she could! Our dental appointment was at 2pm so after a quick nap, we headed to the doctor and my daughter was truly a champ. The doctor managed to fill seven cavities and fixed all four of Xiao's top teeth. He used nitrous during the procedure, and Xiao was the perfect patient. The only time she became upset was when the gas wore off and she did not like the sensation that her mouth was numb. I had to pull out the snow white dress I was saving for Halloween when we got home, and this pretty much diverted her until her mouth was working again! :) I wish her doctor could have seen the look on her face when we got ready for bed tonight and she realized that all her teeth were fixed. She kept pointing to them and giving a thumbs up. She now has a Hollywood perfect smile in time for school. I am so thankful to her doctor and the entire group at LaCourt's office for fitting us in and doing an extraordinary job. We are going to Xiao's new school in the morning and meet the teacher during recess time, and I hope things will go well. Our love to all....

We seem to be settling in.....

Hi Everyone,

Well, we ventured out yesterday to the Zoo and to meet our Aunt Mindy and cousin Macy. Although I could not get Ella Xiao to walk at all, she was willing to ride in one of the car strollers they have. We feed the giraffes, or I should say, I feed the giraffe as Ella looked on in horror (pic). Ella tried her first snow cone, and did not enjoy it. In China the kids have no experience with ice or cold drinks, and I am finding that Xiao does not like any cold drinks. Outside of sprite, I am having a hard time to get her to drink anything! I am going to try the flavored water in lemon/lime and see if I can't get her to drink that. At the Zoo, Aunt Mindy blew a bubble with her gum and had Xiao laughing hysterically. It was a great time by all, and Connor and Hanna loved feeding the giraffes. Ella's favorite exhibit was the monkey cage where all the monkeys were playing and screaming nonstop. It was pretty funny to watch. Today, Xiao met her cousins Charlie and Liam and her Aunt Kristi. Ella really liked Charlie but had no interest in the baby. :) Aunt Marianne came down last night and man did she get a work out in the pool! All her nieces and nephews wanted to be with Aunt Marianne, and she was so great with all of them. We had a nice dinner at the local Chinese restaurant by our house and Xiao actually ate a couple of new things that I can now add to her diet. Turns out she likes pot stickers even though she would not eat them in China. Also, we loved the orange peel chicken. Good news. The tofu and shrimp has run its course after 2 1/2 weeks. I am happy to report that Ella actually pet her puppy today for the first time! Harley is still adjusting, and even has regressed at play school. Thankfully Erica and Christopher the owners of Dawghouse are willing to work with her to help get her back on track. If you live in Tucson and have a dog, I can't say enough great things about their dog care! What a treat for your dog! We have a very busy day on Monday with appointments, so tomorrow we are planning to just hang out and enjoy the pool. Unfortunately it turned green while we were in China, and I am still working on getting it back to normal. It is at least normal enough to swim in! Our nights are cooling off here, so we don't have many more swim days left unless Xiao can tolerate the cold water. Including some pics of the zoo visit. Hope you are all doing well!